Strangers With Candy

When I was little, my parents were constantly afraid I would walk off with some random person.  I talked to anyone and everyone who would listen.  Fear of strangers has never been an issue for me.  I attribute some of this to being an only child, some to being a Leo, and a lot to just loving to talk.

Motovun, Croatia with a travel group I met online

You may be thinking 'I don't have a fear of strangers.  I don't need a pep talk on this topic.'  But I would argue, maybe you do.

Since I enjoy sharing my adventures, I inevitably get the response, "Are you crazy?  Aren't you afraid?  You just met that person!"  People often brush me off when I reply that I've had about 95% positive interactions with strangers. Of course, I run into the not-so-nice, grumpy, and somewhat creepy population, but they are far outweighed by the beautiful new friends and unexpected paths I encounter.

Jess, our 3rd FF, the first time we
worked out together.

Charity, our 1st FF, & I met via an
online journaling website
over 10 years ago.

If I have any fear, it's that my friends are not open to the same opportunities, due to their suspicion toward strangers. 

I feel everyone has a story--something to share.  Sometimes, it's simply a brief exchange while standing in line, letting me know of a new restaurant to try.  Other times, it's the passenger next to me on a bus who informs me of a hidden gem I must visit.  But most often, it's the random soul I cross paths with, who shares hours of their life and insights during our time together.  I value each of them and all the energy they pour into our interactions.  I may not even know their names, but their energy leaves an imprint on me, making me feel that I’m a part of their story, as they are of mine.

Kotor crawl

Recently I had the good fortune to vacation in the Balkans: Slovenia, Croatia, and Montenegro.  Midway through my trip, I made what felt like a split-second decision to veer off from my group to stay along the coast.  This meant I'd be solo--

which is not uncommon for me, just unexpected on this particular trip.  As my original group was departing, a young woman happened through the hostel lobby.  Based on a gut feeling, I befriended her quickly.  She just seemed likable.  Luckily enough, I was right.  We bummed around Kotor all day as we shared stories.  Turns out, she was in the midst of several months of backpacking throughout the region.  Not only did we reveal our lives and adventures to each other, we also carried on into the night, laughing so hard it hurt and bumping into even more new friends.

It was a stunt beer.  I swear.

People are good.  I have been the recipient of countless acts of generosity.  Sadly, when I share these experiences with friends, they ask skeptically, "But why would they do that for you?  They don't know you."  Because people are good.  We, as a society, have become so leery of outsiders, it's disheartening.  What happened to people just being nice for the sake of being nice?  When did we lose faith in that?  And if you truly believe this distrust is justified, then why not be a part of the solution?

I regularly Couch Surf when I travel.  This means I use an online network of people who volunteer their couch, spare room, or air mattress to other travelers.  This is all completely free.  The network can also be used to find company--people to just hang out with.  In this way, I am able to stay with a local who has insight into the location, and it is obviously cost effective. 

Hanging out with our Quebec host.

When I share this system with friends, they are shocked that anyone would do such a thing.  "Why?!" they ask.  Everyone has different reasons for participating, but in my opinion, it’s predominantly because they are generous and want to share.  People find this so difficult to comprehend, but it's not.  It's just that simple.  I've been the recipient and giver of this arrangement countless times.

First Couch host in Brussels.

My host in Amsterdam.

My first experience with Couch Surfing was in Brussels, Belgium.  I nervously made contact with a single woman living on the outskirts of the city, and she so kindly offered her sofa bed for my stay.  When I arrived, we immediately hugged and chatted as if we had known one another for months.  After I showered, she invited me to a friend's birthday party at a local pub that same night, where she introduced me to a myriad of other new people.  The next morning, as I adjusted to the time difference, she left and returned with a table full of pastries for breakfast.  To some, this may seem extremely odd, but I have experienced it multiple times in so many wonderful ways.

Bali

Many of my encounters with strangers lead me on adventures I most likely would not have taken otherwise.  I innocently asked a single woman in Bali to walk through a monkey forest with me because I was afraid to go alone.  By the end, we had decided to eat dinner together. Eventually, we ventured to an island I had never heard of, where we rented a bungalow on the beach.  If we had not met, I probably would have stuck to a fairly conservative route ‘til the end of my trip.  In contrast, I ended up at a breathtakingly beautiful beach in a remote part of the country --not to mention I gained a lovely new friend.

Santa Cruz spontaneity

While in San Jose, California for business, I used the Couch Surfing website to see if anyone just wanted to meet up.  A young guy kindly responded that we could go hiking on my afternoon off.  We spent hours talking and hiking.  I innocently mentioned, "I built in an extra day in the area,” and asked, “Would you recommend I see San Francisco or Santa Cruz?"  He answered, "Well, my favorite is Santa Cruz."  To which I replied with a grin, "When do we leave?"  He knew of a $5 bus that made the half-hour trip daily.  The hotel I secured was laughable, but the experience was priceless.  I made a good-hearted attempt at a bar crawl, and we strolled the boardwalk the next morning to the accompaniment of the howling sea lions.  We slid back into home with enough time to get him to work and me to my flight.

I accepted an impromptu invite to meet 3 of my favorite bloggers.

As you can obviously see, I have good, old-fashioned fun with strangers.  The joy I experience with all these like-minded souls is uplifting, reinvigorating, life affirming, and serves to remind you of the goodness in the world.  It's truly medicine for the spirit.  

The next time you're standing beside someone on the elevator or waiting next to someone at the mechanic or near a person eating alone at a restaurant, find your "in".  Strike up a conversation.  Share a kind word.  Smile.  Look them in the eyes.  Know that we are all human, and we’re in this game of life together.  A world of new friends awaits.  

Hostel lobby

What once was a worrisome trait in my parents’ eyes has now become one of my best qualities, I believe.  My receptiveness to strangers has opened doors to generosity, new ventures, and downright amazing moments.  

I could go on and on, but now it's your turn.  Go out and create some tales of your own.  Try just a few days of extending yourself to others, and see where it leads you.  With luck, it won't be to anyplace you expected.